Here in central Alberta prime farm country,my husband Martin and I work together raising beef cattle and Appaloosa horses. Fern valley appaloosas have long been known for their quality of temperament conformation and color.I have recently rediscovered a love of writing and have published 2 collections of poetry. "Telling Tails" and Tails Trails and Campfire stories" . I look forward to a future spreading my wings as an author and as a horse woman .
Apparently I got enough sleep last night and have had some time to think. Its been a while since I shared the tangled passages of my mind but here you go!
For years people have been lamenting that they wished “if only horses could talk”. And for an equal amount of time,I imagine, horses have been lamenting to themselves “if only people would listen”
One of my favorite things about horses and Appaloosas in particular is their style of communication. Straightforward no confusion, all you have to do is listen, pay attention, and be mindful of what you ask for. A horse is listening to everything, you say, you do, and even what you are thinking of or looking at. That is a master of communication!
They will give you exactly what you ask for even if that’s not what you thought asked for. So listen to them and be careful what you ask and how.
And there is nothing like an Appaloosa to humble you, they’re always paying attention, they’re always thinking. And if you put them in a tough spot they will help you out of it. But if you should choose to lash them for doing so they are perfectly happy to hand you your own ass.
Is it wrong to wish that people communicated so clearly?
Now the promised baby pictures! And also a lovely moment, Angela made it out to visit her Arse , after a long stretch of no travel!
Meet FV Sable Fascinator (Foxy ) 2020 model out of The Drama Queen and by Fern Valley Phoenix
In true equine fashion ( they are born looking for a place to off themselves. She got a little hung up already on day 2 of life. But she is a trooper and it looks like it is messier than serious. All cleaned up and back to being a baby. SO sweet and smart, she took her treatment without even batting an eye !
This has been on my mind and heart for some time , especially in these current circumstances with constant stress, fear and fatigue in our world. I shared this in jest (sort of ) a while back but seriously the added confusion has certainly upped the ante
"Pain is a human experience. It can
be uncomfortable, with the potential to be horrible. The commonly accepted
definition of pain from the International Association for the Study of Pain,
states that pain is “an unpleasant sensory and emotional experience, associated
with actual or potential tissue damage…” Since pain is an individual’s
experience, we should start any discussion of acute versus chronic pain with
the understanding that defining and describing pain in an adequate manner is
versus Chronic Pain:
Acute pain is of sudden onset and is usually the result of a clearly defined cause such
as an injury. Acute pain resolves
with the healing of its
underlying cause. Chronic pain persists for weeks or months and is usually associated with an
underlying condition, such as arthritis.
is this all about? I have had some conversations about chronic pain, and the
judgement, derision and lack of empathy around chronic pain conditions.
people that judge bad people?? Absolutely not, but it still feels bad.
is my effort to educate from the standpoint of someone who lives with chronic
pain, and has for many years.
thing to manage with pain for me has not been the pain itself, it has been the
fear, fear of judgement, of disbelief, of being told I was hysterical or that
it was all in my head. Also the fear and grief associated with loss of ability
motivate or paralyze, and fear can make pain worse.
Well when we feel safe, heard and understood when reporting our pain to
physician and or family we are calmer and less on alert, when we are heard and
when a doctor brushes off symptoms and states or acts like we are over
reporting or worse “drug seeking” fear, lack and a feeling of being unsafe
with friends, family and coworkers. An example of this is in my circle I was
once told after I explained my absence from a family work session (I had been
having a bone scan) “Oh there is something wrong with you??I thought it was just laziness”
about a gut punch!!!
already in pain, searching for answers and feeling very vulnerable I hear that someone
I trusted thinks I am a faker.
or may not have been what they meant, but it most assuredly what I heard.
So how do we help others in pain?
listen, we ask straightforward questions and we believe the individual, because
there is no place for judgement, and you have no way of knowing how one
person’s experience of pain manifests for them. Pain and our response to it is
very individual and how each of us experience it comes from a myriad of
variables, from trauma, fear, past experiences with this and other pain
symptoms and of course how heard and safe we feel.
How do we help ourselves?
That is a big question, finding balance, honestly reporting symptoms and listening for the answers as well. Doing the research so that we are able to ask reasonable questions.
Write it down , when we go to the doctor instead of allowing fear and confusion to rule, make a list of questions and concerns and take it with you.
How am I helping me? Check back to the Keeping the water cool , and others. I am not perfect or completely pain free, but I am managing well on my current protocol of supplements, essential oils and traditional supports with my specialists.
A lot here about pain for a horse blog, but I felt called to share it , and I believe my horse pals, understand this better than most .
Be well friends and stay safe!
And keep watching, we are late this year, but Reina is percolating a little hostage for us here at Fern Valley, she is due any day! A couple pics of her past releases
So a “few”years ago I went to a party for a friend. While we were there setting up (because that’s what country gals do) another friend, Sam showed up. He said “I brought you something “ and held out a case of beer.He also said this is Martin, pointing to his friend. I said hello and put the beer in the fridge and carried on helping to set up. It wasn’t until much later in the evening, having danced with Martin and talked to this very sweet and shy man a few times that Sam said “I brought him here to meet you“ it’s probably important to know that you should never shock me with this type of new information in the middle of a polka. We nearly had a wreck. The evening carried on and I was mildly uncomfortable with the fact that I had been set up on a blind date but I rolled with it. That was nearly 21 years ago. We had a little bit of a slow start, with a couple of conversations that just about had a “Sherry sized hole in a plate glass window” because I was a bit gun shy. But eventually this sweet quiet man got my attention and held on. He seemed to take my cavalier smart assed attitude in stride, and I found eventually instead of turning away he was who I turned to. This is the man who on the day after I yelled and swore at him while watching my beloved first golden retriever, Tucker struggle and pass, me t me after work with some fuzzy pink slippers complete with glittery toenails, and an engagement ring tucked inside. Like I said he takes all that I am in stride. ( By the way I said yes obviously) The rest is as they say history. We have had some wonderful adventures, and some sad scary times but ultimately he is still who I turn to. Today we celebrate 19 years married, and I look forward to all our adventures to come. I am still a smart ass and he is still taking it all in stride. Happy Anniversary to us! Tell me your love story
A long time ago, I started this blog, you may remember it (
I guess if you are here you do remember me, and I thank you for coming back),
it was about horses, and farm life, then poetry and just my life. It still
exists and I am feeling very called to come back to it. I love the freedom of
writing and sharing the parts of my life and heart that I share here.
But here is a secret, I had another blog, (called the
Confidence game) a quiet private one that I shared with very few. This one
shared deeper thoughts and insights, and parts of my story that I wasn’t open
to sharing with the rest of the world. That is where, my fears, and
insecurities lived. I shared experiences and insights into where I felt my
confidence was lacking or undermined
Also where my darker side showed, the anger I felt and
sometimes judgement of others and my response to their judgement of me. I have
long since walked away from that blog and those feelings.
They were right for a time. Healing, but not healthy.
So why now am I talking about it? This time in the world is
very strange, there is fear and anger, confusion and judgement around every
corner, and a lot of those insecurities and inadequacies that I felt have
sprung back. Especially in thinking that I wanted to come back to blogging.
I have tried so many times and I wonder if anyone would still read, but then its about writing , even if no one reads I can still write.
I re watched Brene Brown on shame and vulnerability and I
had a sudden moment of, I don’t know how to put it “DAMN! I FEEL THIS”
I have felt fear and shame about many things and have given
power to other’s judgement of me. Even those who sincerely think they are
helping or trying to. I feel like they are somehow trying to “fix “or “shape me
to their will” maybe some are, but I suspect it is more about my reaction andconnection to old feelings .
So am I going back to that old secret quiet blog? Nope, like
I said it was healing but not healthy long term, I felt the feelings, and wrote
them out and now it is time to let it all be.
I looked at my FB feed (grid view) and I was pleased to see that in the face of
all of the negativity out there, all I see on my feed is smiles honesty and
joy. Does that mean I never get down? No but I have found my lifelines and I am
holding on tight.
Will there still be judgement and pushback in my life? Probably,
I am not able to change others, but I can change how it affects me. So I will
go on sharing my story, my journey, with oils and with all I am, and I will
share my joy
is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man
stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.The
credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by
dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short
again and again,because
there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive
to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends
himself in a worthy cause;who
at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the
worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”
I haven't been a good blogger now for years it seems, I start and stop, and somehow I always "mean to get back to it" and suddenly its months later and I am still missing you all yet still not posting.
I feel like my muse has left me, but really I think I have neglected her . SO here is to trying again.
Right smack in the middle of a pandemic!
Social distancing isn't hard for me, I love people, don't get me wrong but I also love my space.
Hoping to do more than just pop on here and there.
Hope you are all staying well
I do a lot of work with animals, and with people. I am often known for talking about energy, the use of it, the feeling, and the type of energy we put out and take in. With Horses, it means sometimes we add a little pressure then ease off but we never set back and pull or demand that we hold hard and fast. Sometimes its okay to let go of the rope.
With people it is similar, ask and show, offer knowledge and support, but when we insist , often we meet huge resistance.
One person alone cannot actually move a mountain, but a pebble in a stream can shape water in a way that over time and distance it can absolutely change a mountain.
Every thing we do in life takes effort, sometimes huge effort seems like the best way to achieve. “Go hard or go home” right?
Or not. I am not saying, take a slack approach, but what if we use our energy to direct results rather that to force them? Be the pebble in the stream and start to shape water.
Still struggling to get back to regular routine her, but I am not giving up!
Its been a while since I posted, and a lot has gone one, wettest summer in recent history, but we got our hay up, even had me on the tractor for a while! FV Practically magic is growing strong,and I finally have some decent weather to play with ponies! And of course dogs, checking calves, the usual .
Henry has become addicted to "Bears on TV"
I have also been doing a little something different with my pictures, and my "Aunty Sherrisms"
Also, a little tiny garden this year, netted me a little tiny harvest!
Hope you are all well, I need to get around and catch up!