For Good

Looking back at 2016 , it seems for many it was a bad year. For me it was a year of finding my feet and balance after several large losses and changes in the years previous. Was it perfect and easy? Nope but life never is . It simply was a year with good, and bad, and healing,  and now  great expectations for the year ahead!

On December 31 at the stroke of midnight 10 yrs ago, I suddenly realized! 2007! I am going to be 40 this year!

It didn’t bother me much I was just suddenly aware of it. Well a lot has happened in that 10 yrs. A lot of good, some bad. Some wonderful, and some devastating. There have been times in that decade where I thought the loss and pain might actually break me. But it didn’t. Instead, it has made me stronger, and kinder (I hope) and so much more aware of the blessings I have.

In the year I turned 40 I saw my husband go through recovery from a serious car accident the year previous summer, including going through some intensive surgery. We had another loss in our attempts to have a baby. And we began a very challenging process of entering the world of adoption. Sadly that dream also was not meant to be and we finally accepted our childless status and closed our file in 2010. It was not easy and we did not do it lightly, rather we took a long look at the toll it was taking on us both and chose to move forward in our lives together.

Whether as a response to pain and loss, or just a need to say something, I became an author of poetry in this past decade. The first poems coming very much from pain, after losing some beloved horses to old age and frailty. But then it seems a muse awoke in me and the words flowed forth. I can say that my 40’s brought me something I didn’t know I had or wanted. I became a published author!

Martin and I have traveled and expanded our horizons, and even though we have no children of our own we have been blessed with the most wonderful extended family and been close by to watch them grow.

I have added to my repertoire also training as an Equine assisted personal development coach, and just recently been introduced to someone, who if the collaboration works out will help me expand my skill set and horizons greatly in the near future!

We faced some very sad goodbyes in our family and extended family , losing uncles, and Aunts, then  Martins father, my dear friend and second mom, and then just last year my own mother.  

we also  in turn celebrated some wonderful Hello’s with new babies, weddings and just the joys that having a close knit family brings.

This summer we gathered the family together from near and far and celebrated a family reunion, and with all the new lives expected in 2017, things look wonderful and bright!

So overall the last 10 yrs were, well the last ten yrs lol .

When I turned 30 , it seems I was jumping off cliff everywhere! I changed jobs, sold my store and got married! I was all about changing my life.

Well my 40’s seem more to be about my life changing me. And to paraphrase the lyrics from the Wicked musical song “For Good “

“Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But I have been changed for good”


Happy New Year! My friends, and as always please Stay safe!