I was working with one of my young clients the other day, one of the issues as a child in a home with foster and adoptive members, are struggles with acceptance of change and the dynamic in the home. Add to that the client was not feeling great, and it was cold I wasn't sure how much we would accomplish , so instead of a specific "plan " we just went for a walk. I had just moved the horses around, making room in a small herd for my new mare "Lacy".
In one pen we had Cat, Andee,Johnny, and added Jewel ,Ici and Richie. Johnny thought he was the mega boss and was about to take on Richie's little band with guns ablaze!
Those of you who have read the blog for some time, know Richie is the ultimate boss mare I write about that here , and well essentially she handed Johnny his own ass! LOL
Johnny is not stupid, so he took his smack down then began to work for his position as second in command. Respectful of Rich but maintaining his authority with the others, if he went too far, Richie took him down a peg and so it went, the whole integration took less than 10 min. Now that is some leadership Richie!
the two groups , together but separate
still some division but the are all eating together and doing well
We then moved over to Stryker and Harley ,while walking we talked about a younger sibling, new to the home and how irritating he was to her. So I asked what irritates you ? she replied , he copies me, and follows me around , and tries to be with me and , and ,and ...
Fair enough, so as we walked over to the other pen we saw Stryker (boss of that group) moving the new mares Annie was new to that pen around , and Harley standing near but behind and watching . Annie was letting the new girl close ,but not too close , and of course the new girl was on her own. Stood and watched a while as each horse took a time to check the other out. Harley was not aggressive but mirroring Stryker, The new mare Lacy was approaching ,in a submissive manner and also mirroring Annie, maintaining some distance but staying in the vicinity. We talked about the mirroring behaviour,I asked her if that looked familiar? she agreed yes, then I asked why she thought the mare was doing that? her answer "to try to fit in?" and before I could lead her to it, she said "Oh I get it ! that's what X is trying to do at home ! " Sometimes the moment happens all on its own.
Moving forward on that path we then talked about some of the behaviours we saw in this nice quiet group, that might translate for her and her family interactions. Will be seeing her again next week, hoping she was able to try putting some of that into practice.
I wanted to share this, just because as much as we plan sometimes I think the moment creates itself , and you need to go with it !