Welcome to Fern Valley

Here in central Alberta prime farm country,my husband Martin and I work together raising beef cattle and Appaloosa horses. Fern valley appaloosas have long been known for their quality of temperament conformation and color.I have recently rediscovered a love of writing and have published 2 collections of poetry. "Telling Tails" and Tails Trails and Campfire stories" . I look forward to a future spreading my wings as an author and as a horse woman .

Wednesday 8 July 2020

Thoughts on Pain ( I needed to put this somewhere )


This has been on my mind and heart for some time , especially in these current circumstances with constant stress, fear and fatigue in our world. I shared this in jest (sort of ) a while back but seriously  the added confusion has certainly upped the ante 


"Pain is a human experience. It can be uncomfortable, with the potential to be horrible. The commonly accepted definition of pain from the International Association for the Study of Pain, states that pain is “an unpleasant sensory and emotional experience, associated with actual or potential tissue damage…” Since pain is an individual’s experience, we should start any discussion of acute versus chronic pain with the understanding that defining and describing pain in an adequate manner is very difficult."

"Orionhealth -Acute versus Chronic Pain: 

Acute pain is of sudden onset and is usually the result of a clearly defined cause such as an injury. Acute pain resolves with the healing of its underlying cause. Chronic pain persists for weeks or months and is usually associated with an underlying condition, such as arthritis.
Medicinenet.com"

So what is this all about? I have had some conversations about chronic pain, and the judgement, derision and lack of empathy around chronic pain conditions.
Are the people that judge bad people?? Absolutely not, but it still feels bad.
So this is my effort to educate from the standpoint of someone who lives with chronic pain, and has for many years.

The hardest thing to manage with pain for me has not been the pain itself, it has been the fear, fear of judgement, of disbelief, of being told I was hysterical or that it was all in my head. Also the fear and grief associated with loss of ability and mobility.
Fear can motivate or paralyze, and fear can make pain worse.

How? Well when we feel safe, heard and understood when reporting our pain to physician and or family we are calmer and less on alert, when we are heard and feel supported.
However, when a doctor brushes off symptoms and states or acts like we are over reporting or worse “drug seeking” fear, lack and a feeling of being unsafe rises up.

Similarly with friends, family and coworkers. An example of this is in my circle I was once told after I explained my absence from a family work session (I had been having a bone scan) “Oh there is something wrong with you??  I thought it was just laziness”
Talk about a gut punch!!!
So already in pain, searching for answers and feeling very vulnerable I hear that someone I trusted thinks I am a faker.
That may or may not have been what they meant, but it most assuredly what I heard.

 So how do we help others in pain?

We listen, we ask straightforward questions and we believe the individual, because there is no place for judgement, and you have no way of knowing how one person’s experience of pain manifests for them. Pain and our response to it is very individual and how each of us experience it comes from a myriad of variables, from trauma, fear, past experiences with this and other pain symptoms and of course how heard and safe we feel.

How do we help ourselves?  
That is a big question, finding balance, honestly reporting symptoms and listening for the answers as well. Doing the research so that we are able to ask reasonable questions.
Write it down , when we go to the doctor instead of allowing fear and confusion to rule, make a list of questions and concerns and take it with you.

How am I helping me? Check back to the Keeping the water cool , and others. I am not perfect or completely pain free, but I am managing well on my current protocol of supplements, essential oils and traditional supports with my specialists.

A lot here about pain for a horse blog, but I felt called to share it , and I believe my horse pals, understand this better than most .

Be well friends and stay safe! 

And keep watching, we are late this year, but Reina is percolating a little hostage for  us here at Fern  Valley, she is due any day!  A couple pics of her past releases 



8 comments:

Ami said...

Thanks for sharing this. So timely, I think everyone hurts and right now, it's layers of pain.

Chronic physical pain is in my life, too. Not just my pain, but my husband's. It seems silly but it's true... pain
HURTS. And sharing your pain is risky... leaves you open to judgement, ridicule, disbelief, STUPID REMARKS...

Sherry Sikstrom said...

I agree it is risky, but what a difference when we are heard and believed. I believe you!

aurora said...

So nice to hear from you Sherry! It is good to share ones pain, and not keep things bottled up. This is your blog, and anything you feel like sharing fits in perfectly. I have noticed blog posts that often get more in-depth comments have nothing to do with horses, and everything to do with speaking from the heart. Not that we don't otherwise, but you know what I mean. I cannot imagine anyone thinking of you as lazy, when you are obviously such a go-getter!! Some people just don't let words hit the brain before they hit the mouth, others are insensitive and don't live by the mantra "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". The other day I told my frustrated oldest daughter "the whole world needs healing, one kind act at a time." Keep speaking your truth, managing your pain and sharing your beautiful words!! Looking forward to seeing pics & news of the latest new baby.

The Dancing Donkey said...

This has been on my mind a lot too as I have multiple AI issues including celiac, fibromyalgia, hashimotos, endo.

My pain levels have been off the charts lately. I lost my new job because I had to admit to being high risk for C19 and having AI diseases. I don't talk about it because people just don't get it. How could they? I don't understand NOT living with constant pain.

I was thinking just yesterday that managing pain isn't something you do once, rather it is something you have to do a thousand a day. It is so exhausting.

No real point to all this rambling other than....I hear you and feel your pain:)

Miss Izzy said...

Pain is so real for all of us and for that person to say something like that is such an ignorant statement. I likely would have fired back with something like- Funny how I thought of You as being the lazy one! Imagine that... and walk away.

I too live with pain as I think we all do. Some of us have higher and lower tolerances as well as pain levels we endure to the point where "it's just there" and we just function with it. My other half has a very low pain tolerance and mine is pretty high. We both have chronic pain of different levels due to injuries and there are frequent discussions of- do you know what it's like???? As well as being stressed out because some days we hurt worse than others.

It's very real and very similar or relatable to horses because like horses in training, when we do find that release- we can relax. We can let go of the pressure/ stress/ fear/ anxiety/ tension or whatever feelings we have that may have led up to or added to the level of pain we are trying to escape. When we find someone who listens, hears us and believes what we're saying, it helps us manage our own pain a little differently and ultimately better because they are more accepting of what we're going thru and we don't have to be so defensive about everything.

Great post. Hopefully you find some relief soon. Pain sucks!

Sherry Sikstrom said...

Thank you all, I knew my blog peeps would understand

kden said...

Thank you for your honesty and sometimes you just need to get it out there. I don't know how you do what you do and would never consider you lazy! I was in a car accident over a year ago and suffered a bone bruise to my heel from my feet flopping around. Other than getting x-rays (which showed nothing), nobody seemed to really understand the pain I was in. A foot doctor seemed upset I was wasting his time and the only relief I had was when his nurse taped my foot. So I wrapped my own foot for almost 6 months just to get by. I still had to work and walk dogs and then ice my foot afterwards. Oh, and I took so many Advil for pain I came down with hives for 2 months. I'm so glad I'm better now and I have a lot more empathy for those with chronic pain.

Leah said...

Good post - pain is something that so many deal with and there are so many kinda solutions and each individual has to find what works for them.